This just in…
Because he is Magneto!
Recent intense study into Ron Paul’s history has revealed that his real name is Eric Lensherr, also known as Magneto. Dr. Paul, or shall we say, Magneto is running for the Republican nomination in 2008 so he can win the support of paleocons only for him to turn his back on them so he can enslave humanity and allow mutants to rule the world. He is teaming up with fellow mutants Christopher Dodd, Tommy Thompson and Mike Gravel in an elaborate conspiracy to take over the world. Why else would 9/11 conspiracy theorists support Ron Paul? Because they are a part of the mutant conspiracy themselves!
In other news….
Al Gore has decided to put on another Live Earth in the fall of 2008. But this time, he’s calling it “Laughingstock.” All proceeds will fund the 2008 Democratic Presidential campaign.
Note: this post is entirely comedic and satirical in nature. If you are offended by this, you probably have no sense of humor.